Do you struggle with self esteem and self worth issues?
I did for many years. I can remember back when I was in my teens and 20s that I was so concerned by what I thought people were thinking about me. I’d hear about my friends going out on a Friday night and they hadn’t called me to go with them. What did I do wrong? Were we still friends?
I’d see friends talking and laughing and I wondered if they were laughing at me.
It didn’t just happen with friends, if I saw strangers whispering, I’d think that they were talking about me.
Looking back on it, I can only say that it was my self centered, vanity that had me worried.
Having been out of my 20s for a while, I can see that there was probably no one who was all that concerned about me. All those people had much better things to talk about than me and what I was doing. I had psyched my self out. I had myself convinced that all eyes were on me and every conversation was about me.
When I say it out loud, it seems so silly that I ever thought that they had nothing better to do than to watch me and talk about me.
What’s even funnier is that I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way.
What is it about insecurities, low self esteem and self worth issues that makes us be that self centered? When you think about it, this doesn’t even make sense. If no one liked us, they probably wouldn’t be looking at us or talking about us. They’d just ignore us and live their lives. Yet, we believe that they are only talking about us. Weird!
I think we when we have insecurities and low self esteem that we derive our self worth from what other people think of us. Or at least what we think people are thinking about us. I think that believing that people are paying attention to us and thinking that people are talking about us gives us a sense of importance. Basically, we have worth if people are talking about us.
There are people who derive their self worth from the home that they live in while others derive their self worth from the car they drive. Others might derive their self worth from their job or the amount of money that they make.
What people think about you really shouldn’t matter, to you. They aren’t paying your bills.
You don’t need 5 years of therapy!
I know I’m not the only to have ever felt like this. In fact, I would say that there is a very high percentage of people who have felt like this, at least once in their lives. If you are feeling this way, now, I can assure you that there aren’t too many people who are all that concerned with you. They have their own issues with self worth to contend with.
They are too worried about the people who they think are talking about them to be talking about you!
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