Do you need to be assertive?
Is being assertive the best way to get what you want? Sometimes it is. I do think that being friendly may have a lot more to do with it than most people think. I think that there is a combination of the two things that allows some people to get what they want out of life, while others of us wonder how they do it.
There are those of us who would rather wait for things to come to us. We would rather sit quietly and hope that what we want comes our way. To ask for what we want might be offensive or cause someone some trouble.
I was in this category, until I started my own business. In some ways, I’m still in this category. It can be very frustrating!
Do you wanna hear a story?
I have several stories that illustrate the fact that being friendly and assertive is the key to getting what you want.
I was in my early 20s and I was out for a drive with a good friend of mine. We decided to go to the McDonald’s drive thru for lunch. Yes, I used to eat at McDonald’s. We place our order over the intercom system. We pulled up and there was a cute girl in the window. He started joking around with her, while we waited for the food to be brought to the window. He had her laughing pretty good. She noticed that he had a little clip on Teddy bear on his rear view mirror. My friend unclipped the Teddy bear and gave it to her.
He said, “I gave you my Teddy bear. How about you give me your phone number?” She was all too happy to write her name and number on the outside of the food bag.
I scratched my head and asked him how he did that.
A friend of mine went in for a job interview. There were a lot of people applying for the job. He sat and waited his turn. Later, as his interview was winding down, he noticed a golf club hanging on the wall. He started a conversation about how the club came to be there. The interviewer must have talked for 10 minutes about it. As they walked to the door, my friend says, “Hey, can I have the job?”
Who asks for the job after the interview? I figured they would have kicked him out. Nope. The guy was so impressed that he was willing to ask for the job, he told the other applicants to go home. They had their man.
We run an offline, traditional business. Over the years, we’ve had a lot of people work for us. I guess we make running this business look easy, because there have been a dozen or so people, who worked for us, quit and start their own businesses. This is the story of one of them.
She quit and started her own business. Hey, good for her! About 18 months later, she called me to see if I want to take over her clientele. She had about 20 clients. We sat down with the paperwork on her clients and I noticed that she was charging a lot less than we were charging for similar clients. I told her as much.
She looking at me, sheepishly, and asked, “How do you get so much?” I replied, “I ask for it.”
She just said, “Hmm.”
I hope the moral to these stories is obvious.
Sitting around and waiting for something to land in your lap is a bad idea. You’ll be waiting for a very long time.
You need to be friendly, maybe even entertaining, then ask for what you want. This isn’t to say that you will always get what you want, but you stand a better chance of getting what you want if you have asked for it!
Ask and you shall receive!
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