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Necessary Losses and Boundaries

 

Eliminating the naysayers?

 

 

are you willing to throw a good relationship

 

 
For the most part, I’ve steered clear of this issue. It’s not one that I really wanted to go over, for my blog.

 

 

The titles references two books that I read years ago. The first is Necessary Losses, by Judith Viorst. The second is Boundaries, by Henry Cloud.

 

 

In network marketing, as in most businesses, you will find that you will have your detractors. Those naysayers that will tell you over and over again that you will fail. There is no sense going forward with this silly notion of a successful business. After all, Uncle Joe could never make a business work.
 

 
I guess Uncle Joe is a good benchmark to measure yourself by.
 

 
do you measure yourself against Uncle Joe?

 

 

Most network marketers will tell you to eliminate those types of people from your life. That’s the reason why I have stayed away from this topic. I can’t totally recommend eliminating people from your life. It’s a really tough situation.
You’re in a business, your friends are telling you that it won’t work and you should get out before you lose all of your money, what do you do?
 

 
I would refer you to Henry Cloud’s book, Boundaries. In the book, he talks about having real and enforceable boundaries. Boundaries are imaginary lines that you won’t let people cross. In this case, it is a line that tells people that they are not allowed to talk to you if they are going to be telling you that you can’t make money in network marketing.
 

 
You need to communicate your desire to have your friends not talk to you about being in a business of your own. If they are unwilling to be supportive, then they should not mention your business to you.
 

 
are your friends giving you grief about your business?

 

 

If your friends, family and whoever else is giving grief about owning your own business are willing to refrain from talking negatively to you about your business, then you should be able to maintain that relationship.
 

 
In the worse case scenario, someone might refuse to abide by those rules. They continue to tell you that you will fail.
Now, I would refer you to Judith Viorst’s book, Necessary Losses. Sometimes a relationship is too toxic to be maintained. Toxic relationships are those that take away your self worth and self esteem. The relationships that make you think that you are not worthy of success.
 

 
If you are lucky, then you won’t have any of these types of relationships in your life. If you aren’t so lucky, then you will have a decision to make.
 

 
you might need to make a decision

 

 

Are you strong enough to stand up for yourself and say that enough is enough?
 

 
You’ve ask the person to be nice. They were told not to be negative around you and they wouldn’t comply. You’ll have to decide if you are really going to distance yourself from them or will you actually eliminate them from you life?
 

 
I’ve found myself in that situation before. My own mother was one who kept telling me to “get a real job.” She kept telling me that for years.
 

 
I had been in my own business for 8 years and she was still telling me that it wasn’t too late to go back to college and get a degree. Then I could get a good job.
 

 
I just took all of it with a grain of salt. There was no way that I was going to give up the dream of owning a business.
 

 
try taking it with a grain of salt

 

 

I did limit the amount of time that I spent around her, but I never fully eliminated her from my life.
 

 
This is why I stayed away from the subject. Another network marketer would have told me that she needed to be eliminated from my life.
 

 
I would never tell someone that they needed to cut someone out of their life. That’s a really personal decision. A decision that shouldn’t be made lightly.
 

 
My best advice is to create new boundaries for those people who are not supportive of your business venture. You should discuss the “new you” with them. Explain that owning a business is what you need to do and they can either support your decision or they can just not talk about it, at all.
 

 
Hopefully, you won’t have to make the decision to eliminate someone from your life!
 

 

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