No one ever is to blame!
Are you one of those people who thinks that every bad thing that happens to you is someone else’s fault? If someone else is to blame when something bad happens to you, then someone is responsible when something good happens to you, right? No, it never works like that, but it should.
You shouldn’t accept the cheers for your successes if you aren’t willing to to the blame for the things that go wrong.
However, we are all too happy to take the accolades of the successes we experience, but we are just as quick to pass the buck or responsibility when the bad things come along.
If you are playing the blame, then you are giving up control over your life.
People have a tendency of thinking that everyone else is just like they are. If they have given up control over their own life, then other people must’ve given up control of their lives. If other people have found success, then it must’ve been dumb luck. If they don’t control their life, then what else could it be?
Haven’t you ever heard someone say that “they must have been lucky to reach that level in the company?”
Why do we do that?
I believe that it starts when we are very young. In our childhood, we are constantly asked, “Did you do that?” No matter what we say, in response to the question, we find out that there are consequences to our actions. If what we did was a good thing, we learn that we are praised and rewarded. If what we did was a bad thing, then we learn that we’ll be punished or scolded.
It doesn’t take too many scoldings or punishments to convince us that there has to be a better way!
The next time we’re asked, “Who ate the last cookie?” or “Who broke the dish?” we know not to take responsibility. More than likely, whoever broke the dish or ate the last cookie is going to get in trouble. Who wants to get in trouble? Not many of us.
We also learn that not getting in trouble is a reward, of sorts. Because it feels pretty good to not get spanked, yelled at, grounded for a week or have privileges taken away.
By the time we move out of our parent’s house, we’re set up for life. All we want is to be rewarded anyway we can. We’re willing to do almost anything.
I do admit that it’s probably easier to blame someone else for the bad things that we do. After all, isn’t an easier life what we are all looking for?
What are the consequences?
Yes, we’ll avoid the pain and displeasure of the bad things that we do, but I believe that it will keep us from living up to our full potential. If we accept responsibility for the bad things that we do, then we have to opportunity to learn from them. If we blame someone else, we don’t have to learn from our mistakes. We don’t have to be punished, scolded or ridiculed.
Is there any hope?
Sadly, for most people, they will be content with making their lives as easy as possible. They’re willing to float through life just trying to avoid the negative feelings of taking responsibility for their lives and their actions.
If you want to try to reach your full potential, then you’ll have to get in the game. You’ll have to realize that as you step up and step out, you might make a mistake. You might fail. You will experience pain and other bad feelings along the way. You’ll have to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. You’ll be rewarded when you succeed and you will face pain when you make a mistake.
Take heart, the more mistakes you make now, the fewer you will make in the future!
Take my word for it, if you can push past the bad feelings, for a while, it will get easier. The consequences of mistakes and even failure won’t be quite so bad. When you reach success, you’ll realize that it was all worth the effort!
Please don’t blame anyone else for your circumstances. You might not think that you can get out of them, but I am here to tell you that you can.
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